Suzy's Blog

What is micro-managing your dog? Very often I see people in off-leash areas that are constantly calling their dog. They do not allow their dog to just be, they have to make sure that every move is controlled and that they are in charge. But are they truly in charge when they do that? How does the dog see the situation?

What I have noticed is that those dogs often do not listen much to their owners, which makes the owner even more nervous and wanting to be on top of their dog. If your dog knows that you are always chasing after her, why should she keep track of where you are going? The habit can be broken easily, but the person has to be willing to be changing their ways! The biggest issue is for the person to trust that their dog will return. Most dogs will keep an eye on you, but if you have trained them that you are always chasing after them, they know you are always keeping an eye on them.

What makes animals different from each other? What makes their personality? Are we acknowledging their differences?

All of us who had a few different animals in our lives can say that there are no two that are alike ever. Even in my working with people I have never encountered an animal that is exactly like another. Yet so often I work with people that expect their newly acquired animal to be like the one that passed and that was the beloved pet. To me this is a very interesting phenomenon, since when I ask you, if you ever had two animals that were alike, you will say 'No', but somewhere when you get another animal you expect to see them be like 'Fluffy'. What is the compulsion to compare?

Would you be willing to recognize that with that approach you are asking the animal to be different then who they actually are? You are asking them to fit into your idea of what they should be rather than acknowledging the being that they are. What does that mean? Every being is different in the way they see the world. May it be dog, cat or horse, they all will have their own unique way to be in the word. They will have certain things that come easier to them and others that may not. Some horses like to jump, others don't, some dogs like to chew on things, others cannot be bothered with that, some cats like to cuddle, others don't and there are endless variations of these examples.

Every year 2 to 4 Million puppies are bought from puppy mills, operations that function under terrible conditions. In a puppy mill the bitches usually live their lives in very small cages, with very little to no human interaction, under terrible sanitary conditions with the sole purpose of having one litter after another.

Puppies from these places are often riddled with medical conditions from the start, have no positive association to people and grew up under sub-standard conditions. They often end up in pet shops, or are being sold privately under the disguise of coming from a reputable breeder.

Now the number of pets that are being euthanized in shelters every year is also about 2 Million. These animals are being killed because there are no homes for them. At least that is what we are told. So half of theses killed animals are dogs and there is a demand for twice to four times as many dogs out there. So if only half of the people that shop from puppy mills would go get a shelter dog, there would be no need to euthanize another dog in any shelter.

If you are dealing with a behavior in your dog that seems like it cannot be explained or changed you might be dealing with a decision your dog has made.

For example: I had the wonderful opportunity to work with a Boston Terrier, who had a sensitivity to his back and hind quarters. If he was being touched in a certain way it would trigger a bite response. The owners had him since puppyhood and the behavior started a few years ago. The biting was directed at anyone who was going to pet the dog by approaching over the head towards the back. The dog would bite regardless of who was petting.

While it is not really relevant to have the information to why this behavior started I found out that it started after having a severe skin problem a few years back that got the dog associating pain with being touched in this way.

Is your dog jumping on everybody coming for a visit? Are you worried your dog is going to knock someone over, or spoil that wonderful dress your neighbor just bought? Have you tried the suggested things from ignoring to distracting to pushing the knee in the chest and nothing is working?

Would you like to try something else? What else is possible? What if the possibility to change something would not be the same for each dog and the real trick would be to ask your dog what would change the behavior? Some dogs are a lot more sensitive to your thoughts, feelings and emotions than others. For those, the approach would be different to the dog that seems to never check in with you, is constantly 'distracted' and doesn’t seem to know their name.

Some methods used for one dog will be too harsh for another, and the other way around, a method not getting the message across at all! So first see what energy level your dog has and how much you are connected. Some dogs find it highly insulting to be walked towards directly and others will not react to that unless stepped on, literally!

Have you ever thought you might have picked the wrong dog? Are you having sleepless nights over your dogs behavior?  Are you one of the people that picked your dog by breed, or because she or he looked cute? Is there a possibility to change the situation you are in? Well, you have definitely challenged yourself by choosing a dog that might not be the right dog for you. Your energy levels just don’t match. You are not compatible. Now what? Would it be best to find a different owner for the dog and a different dog for you? Or can this be remedied?

There is definitely not a single answer to this situation. But you can start by asking some questions. The first question I would ask your dog is: 'Would you like to own somebody else?' Yes, just like that. Since we do not own them, they own us - after all who goes out to work to feed them? So, really who owns who? I realize this might be a tough question to ask, especially since you are probably attached to your dog. But have you considered that your dog might know a thing or two as well? And would it be possible that he or she might give you a hard time because it’s time to move on? Just one possibility.

If the answer is that your dog would like to still own you the next question might be: 'What can we do to change this behavior?' Your dog will know what it would take. The answers to this question might be plenty, or just a single one. You might get them from all kinds of sources, not just your dog. If you are willing to keep asking the question, you could be surprised by all the different possibilities that present themselves!

How often do we assume that when our dog has a certain behavior there will be no chance to change it? Can't teach an old dog new tricks? But is it really the dog we have to change, or is it the person? How often is the dog willing to drop the issue immediately, once redirected and the person has the point of view that it can’t be that easy?

I was working with a family this past weekend and their dog had an issue of being touched on the back with the had going over the dog's head. The response was a bite, or nip, depending on the situation. So the discomfort was shown by a strong reaction. It took a few minutes to desensitize the area and to let the dog know that there is no problem with being touched there.

So what was really the great part, is that the whole family did not hold on to this issue either. They saw the dog change and they did not have to keep checking if it was gone, testing the dog’s reaction. It was clear that it was easy now to have the hand come over the top to touch the back and there had to be no fuss made over that! How great it was to see them all move forward and not hang on to the past at all. The family made it possible for the dog to change for good! And he was willing to move on!

Do you ever ask your dog a question? A real one, like "What do you require of me?" (not, what did you do that for?). Most of us use everybody else's dog as a reference on what we should expect from our dog. What if your dog was just as different as you are? What if your dog required a totally different thing than anyone else's dog? Would you be willing to start listening to your dog? And to yourself? How often have you actually already known what the 'expert' was telling you? Dogs are quite amazing creatures and they get a lot more information energetically than what we give them credit for. So what if we started asking our dogs what they require from us? And actually start to listen? In the beginning this might sound a bit strange, but really it is not that difficult. It is just like developing another muscle, it might take a bit of practice!

Dogs don’t respond to the words you are using.  Instead they respond to the energy and the pictures that you are sending with the words.  So if you are saying, "Don't bite", you are projecting the image of biting from your head. It is like if I say to you "Don't think of a green apple", not only will you think of one instantly, I am also projecting that image whether I’d like to or not. The word "don't" does not have a picture, so it really means nothing to the dog.  So they will bite which is the opposite of what you are trying to achieve. You are sending a message with the command of "Don't bite", and the energy of urgency along with the picture, of biting. From the dogs point of view you are commanding them to bite, so after the chore is done, they now get punished. For the dog quite a confusing moment.

This might sound really strange, but what if every demand we had of our dog was coming from the place of what should occur, not what should not occur. For example, instead of saying "Don't jump" to a dog jumping up on a person, say "All four feet on the ground" and see the difference. It is a different approach and it might give you a new way of looking at a scenario! Give it a try!