Suzy's Blog

What makes animals different from each other? What makes their personality? Are we acknowledging their differences?

All of us who had a few different animals in our lives can say that there are no two that are alike ever. Even in my working with people I have never encountered an animal that is exactly like another. Yet so often I work with people that expect their newly acquired animal to be like the one that passed and that was the beloved pet. To me this is a very interesting phenomenon, since when I ask you, if you ever had two animals that were alike, you will say 'No', but somewhere when you get another animal you expect to see them be like 'Fluffy'. What is the compulsion to compare?

Would you be willing to recognize that with that approach you are asking the animal to be different then who they actually are? You are asking them to fit into your idea of what they should be rather than acknowledging the being that they are. What does that mean? Every being is different in the way they see the world. May it be dog, cat or horse, they all will have their own unique way to be in the word. They will have certain things that come easier to them and others that may not. Some horses like to jump, others don't, some dogs like to chew on things, others cannot be bothered with that, some cats like to cuddle, others don't and there are endless variations of these examples.

Have you ever thought you might have picked the wrong dog? Are you having sleepless nights over your dogs behavior?  Are you one of the people that picked your dog by breed, or because she or he looked cute? Is there a possibility to change the situation you are in? Well, you have definitely challenged yourself by choosing a dog that might not be the right dog for you. Your energy levels just don’t match. You are not compatible. Now what? Would it be best to find a different owner for the dog and a different dog for you? Or can this be remedied?

There is definitely not a single answer to this situation. But you can start by asking some questions. The first question I would ask your dog is: 'Would you like to own somebody else?' Yes, just like that. Since we do not own them, they own us - after all who goes out to work to feed them? So, really who owns who? I realize this might be a tough question to ask, especially since you are probably attached to your dog. But have you considered that your dog might know a thing or two as well? And would it be possible that he or she might give you a hard time because it’s time to move on? Just one possibility.

If the answer is that your dog would like to still own you the next question might be: 'What can we do to change this behavior?' Your dog will know what it would take. The answers to this question might be plenty, or just a single one. You might get them from all kinds of sources, not just your dog. If you are willing to keep asking the question, you could be surprised by all the different possibilities that present themselves!